When I think about you, this moment is what is most clear. Our bodies were so close I could feel your heartbeat and your hot breath was against my neck and I should’ve been in complete bliss but all I could think about is how I knew that this wouldn’t last. That no matter how many times we promised we’d love each other forever, we were just too young. That we found each other at the wrong time but we had the right love, and that sometimes life just throws these terrible things at you and you have to appreciate what you have while you have it. I remember trying to rephrase my thoughts a thousand times, the same way I sit here right now rephrasing this poem. And so we sat there, just holding each other, promising a forever that we knew would never happen.
The amount of times I have been in your bed could never compare to how close I felt to you in this moment. I truly believe that I will never feel this way with someone else ever again, and as much as that scares me, it is comforting. Because I mean it with every part of me when I say that I hope I never fall for someone that hard again.
For a long time I tried to hold onto this moment. But the magic we shared that night turned into words that you "didn’t mean” as you screamed them with every ounce of fire in your body. I was already burned by the time that I realized apologies must not always be accompanied with forgiveness.
I knew that our forever had expired when the same words that I once whispered into your chest were now whispered into the voicemail of your phone.
I know that we are different people now, and when I say this you won’t understand; but you will always be my muse.
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