december 25- unfinished rant

it is christmas day and a thousand things are going through my head but the most mind-blowing thing is that it is my last christmas at home with normality. next year, i will come home from whatever college i decide and try to feel at home again in a room that will probably feel too big for me even though i’ve slept in in for 17 years. i try not to think about it but it terrifies me that this is going to happen so soon. i’m not ready to move out and be on my own, especially around the holidays. it scares me to think how different things could be next year. that the people i have in my life this year might not be here next year, or even tomorrow. it’s so scary to think how fast life can take things away from us with no warning or reason.